the beginning

This is something I've been thinking about for a long time.

You see, I am a big believer in the immense value of gratitude.

Ever since I was young, I've always kept a gratitude journal (off and on).  I always notice the times that I don't, because for me, it makes a huge difference to write things down.  It's like they become more etched into my brain.  And being a big lover of goals and self-improvement, without the constant thoughts about what I'm thankful for, it can become so easy to focus only on what needs to be fixed or changed in my life.  My brain starts to move faster.  I feel rushed and edgy and completely focused on all that's not right with my life.  I know there is a valid time and place for focus on these things, but the place of these things should never take over my gratitude and appreciation of all that is wonderful in my life.

So, one day, I decided to start this blog.

I wanted a more permanent place of reference for these thoughts.  I wanted an easier way to share them with people I love, and people who may be uplifted and looking for a little extra reminder of all the good in the world.

So, here I am. 

I'm not exactly sure about what I want the format of this blog to be.  I am thinking that I want to document 5 things each day that I am thankful for.  I may just write down the item, or I may want to explain why I feel thankful that day - I am giving myself license to do both.  I want to try to have variety in what I say.  (For example, I could write over and over about certain things/people in my lives I am thankful for until the cows come home and it would never feel like enough to me, so I am going to try to spread in out not because I'm not thankful or thinking about those things, but because I want to really stretch and also make sure I'm thinking about things that maybe I take for granted a little more.) I don't think I will share too much about my/my family's lives, because we do have a family blog for that here, and being a busy wife and mom of 4 small children , I don't have tons of time for blogging each day (in fact, I've abandoned that blog the last few years because of how extremely busy I was.  I am recommitting to it now because I have learned that it's been a healthy place for me to find perspective on hard things, notice the small - but important - things, and document the lives of our family.  I will be playing catch-up there as well as sharing current news from now on.).  You are welcome to visit and learn about us anytime you'd like though.  ;)

So, without further adieu, here is my first entry:

I am thankful for...

1)my baby girl, Peyton.  We had a bit of a rough night last night, and as I laid in my bed, drinking in her beautiful innocence and her innate need to be near me, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for her.  She is truly one of my guardian angels.  She came to me during a time in my life that was extremely stressful and hard.  She was a huge surprise (can you say "IUD baby"?) and in hindsight I realize that God sent her to me because he knew she would bring me so much happiness, peace, and joy during a time of trial and confusion.  I feel so connected to her and to all of my children.  I am grateful that I get to be their mother and that we all love each other so much.

Here's my little angel the week she was born.

2)my ability to see all the beauty of this earth and all that's in it.  It's one of those things that I truly take for granted.  I've been thinking about it a lot recently, realizing that if it weren't for modern technology, I wouldn't be seeing so well.  I am nearsighted and can't see much but colored blobs without glasses or contacts.  I am so thankful that I can see clearly because of those things.  There is so much beauty to be taken in!

I took this a couple years back at Thanksgiving Point's tulip festival.  It's a must-see if you are ever around here!  Talk about beauty!

3)trials.  There is nothing more humbling.  Even though tough things are never fun, I am so grateful for the opportunity they give me to grow.  When things get so hard that they become overwhelming, I notice that most of the time, it's because I am not relying on the Lord and on my heart.  I am surrounded by people that love me and by limitless options to make bad things into good things.  I am so thankful for the life experience and perspective that my trials bring me.  That heightened awareness and humility that I get when things are rough are so fulfilling and beautiful to me.

4)my laptop.  I am one of those people that for the life of me can't get technology to work for me the way I want.  Partially because of bad luck, and partially because I have no clue.  But the truth is, that whether it works like a dinosaur or a well-oiled machine, my laptop gets the job done!  I do so many things from my computer.  It stores so much valuable information from our budget to pictures of our family and everything in-between.  I am grateful to be able to have one place to do/store so many things.  It makes my life so much simpler!

5)food!  I have been on a pretty restrictive diet lately for health reasons, and man alive I have missed my food!  Not only that, but I have whined and complained and just been awful about it!  I have NOT enjoyed cooking a nice, delicious dinner for my family and have only been focused on the fact that they can eat certain foods and I can't.  I should have been focused on my body's amazing ability to heal with the right nutrition, and made that hunger and craving a good reminder about the fact that I am feeling better every day.  I read somewhere recently that less than 1 in 100 people in poor countries will ever even have one in their lives of what we would consider a good, square meal.  I hardly ever think about that!  I am so blessed to never have to think about where my food is coming from and whether or not we'll have any.  Food is such a huge part of our lives in so many ways.  I feel so lucky to never have to be hungry or deal with starvation and hunger as a reality in my life.

That's all for today!  See you tomorrow!